Remember, Remember, The Sweet November :)

by murmurkacang

Hi Guys~

It’s time for a quick updates since I’ve been away from Internet live. A lot happened this month, and here’s my top three:

~ getting attached ~

I’ve been thinking to made a post just for this since the news of me getting attached concerned my closest friends, most of them worried, all of them are SHOCKED (haha) probably cause I’ve been super careful and anal in this for so long ( romance has always been the one thing I couldn’t handle without going all ‘ drama ‘, create massive mess of things, hurting each and every one people I don’t want to hurt most. ) The idea of getting attached with this very same guy I was having a paranoia after such long series of confusing encounters, just make them worry if i have lost my mind in cause of over loaded twisted thoughts. (Well, I’ll have a series of my own ‘ twilight ‘ stories if I were to tell you on how life and love confuses me in every way and how I confuses life back, together with people around me – ha ha – It’d be longer than my Harry Potter collection, only same illogical but not as magical )

All I can say, is at the moment, I feel grateful to finally stop living in the past, constantly worrying what disaster would I face in the future, and I have my boyfriend to thank for that. He kept me busy with all the things before and after we got together, bringing me back to live at the moment, offering simple happiness to share, loving me and make it look so easy, even when everything seems to fall apart.

I honestly don’t know if this happiness is here to stay, as fragile as human heart can be, anytime anything in life with time might take it away.. but even for a skeptic and a pessimist like me, there’s always a space to believe in love.

So this is something I’ve been rushing these past few days cutting his calls short, it’s our initials in our favorite colors sketched on one of my paranoia days.. for our 13th day together

~ 11.11~

Adding into my list of month with most best friend’s birthdays April, May, August, October, is the sweet NOVEMBER. I got at least 5 in each of those month and this year, I meet new bunch of great people born through out the month. It’s such a coincidence that 2 pairs of my friend share the same initials! isn’t it something fun to remember?

shout out to Kenny ko~ happy birthday cous2!! thanks for lending me your favorite guitar..

(promise I’ll at least master C, D, G and E!! )

~trip.ing~

Early this month, I went back jakarta for my friend’s wedding. I spend most of my time with my childhood friends also my college years classmates, last but not least my favorite lecturer who have guided and inspired me to who I am today. It’s always my happiest moments meeting them back there, catching up, sharing stupid jokes. Back then laughing and crying together seems so natural that was one of the best part of my life. It’s good enough to make me smile whenever I’m struggling working out here. I pathetically clinging on it to fill in the emptiness whenever it came to me these few years.

There’s a chinese proverb saying wherever you tripped and tumble, that’s where you should pick yourself up. This trip for me, works that way.

I revisited everything I left and cling onto before, stood by and faced a love thought I would never let go, I come face to face with myself and my memories, all my expectations, found big part of me have  stayed there never moved exactly at where I left it. Then suddenly I see,  everything, everyone, have changed, they either moved, evolved, or gone.

So what actually am I holding onto? I smiled. Silly me. I’m holding to something ‘once there’, stuck in reverse. Hence, I find a reason to move on, since I dun have any to hold on. The trip saved me from tripping on my past. And as my plane took off… I felt part of me was back with me, I feel complete.

KJ

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